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Poetry Poem: Then
It’s pain
Deep traumatic pain
This dissected my life
Between before and after
A cut, which bled then superficially healed
Before was before,
After was after, but life changed then
Pain I attracted always felt familiar
Of course it always began with attractive sensations
Energetic attraction of plus and minus
I drew you in, this deep power is relentless, strong
Like a moth, you came to the pain.
The flame disguise was my game
Funny, it was never about your beautiful blue eyes
It was about me, broken and lusting after my tragedy
We coupled in that cracked way people do without love
Our romantic superfluous anecdotes evaporated
Unproductive
This disambiguation, “ tolled the bell!.”
I cracked, then
Deep deep pain which flooded, light illuminating
The game which captured me
Flashed
I saw, recognized and understood
Repetitive similarities, I sucked in that suffering again and again
No a flame now burning across my mind.
pain pain pain
Not more, enough !
My loving affirmative arm embraced me, that kid
Just holding, just accepting,
just caring again
My self created mirror broke in this moment
This epiphany of self recognition and hope
Tears, my tears, my sobbing heart wrenching joy
Healing came because I returned
Simple, true, we can do it!
We can do this to improve
Grow, move inextricably to
Completion
That pain is the cry,
That pain is the sigh,
That pain is a way
In which Love
Love for the being
Love for the me
I’d left behind
As a kid
As I did
Then
Returns
